


What Do You Do?

by Sariau



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast), The Adventure Zone: Balance (Podcast)
Genre: Almost No Spoilers!, Gen, Kinda gorey? It's more than stated in the Podcast, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), POV Second Person, Pre Lunar Interlude 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 04:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12148668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sariau/pseuds/Sariau
Summary: I'm going to give you a scenario- gonna paint you a word picture. And at the end, you just gotta answer the age-old, classic, D&D question: What do you do?





	What Do You Do?

You’re born into a big family. There’s grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and older siblings and a mother and father that love you. Well, they tell you enough that you think you believe them. Older siblings that are still trying to figure out the world, and are mischievous to play and prank you. And you learn to return it as well as you can. They’re all bigger than you, and tussles were often until one accident.

Kristen had you down on the ground, and you turned your head to the side to blow a raspberry onto a stretch of exposed skin. She squealed, and tried to worm away, but you found a chink in her armor. No way were you going to give this up. You locked your feet around Kristen’s torso, and grin. There were other siblings watching you two wrestle it out with amusement, and you look towards them to say something smart and impressive. You didn’t really know what you would say, and taking that moment to think about it was probably the reason you didn’t see Kristen’s knee zooming towards your face.

There was a lot of blood, and it hurt a lot. Kristen and the others were freaking out over you. There were hands hoisting you up, and you were crying. Your face was wet, and you wouldn’t know what was blood and what were tears until you were guided into the bathroom and got a look at yourself. And yeah, that was you in the mirror. Worse for wear, but yeah.

A wet rag wiped over your face, and Kristen leaned in close. “Oh good. Not broken.” She bossed around the others while also telling you how to stop a nosebleed. She was probably going to take over the family business even though she wasn’t the eldest, just because she had an even head on her shoulders.

Suffice to say they treated you like glass after that. And roughhousing didn’t include you after that too.

At least you lost a tooth after that!

* * *

You are finally old enough to join the caravan with the rest of your family! Yes! This is going to be your first adventure, and you’re gonna fight a bunch of monsters, and count the stars next to the fire and a tent! No more spending the weekend with your grandparents! No more inventorying! No more dust in the warehouses!

You bounce past one of the horse-drawn wagons, the one your dad is steering since that particular house is stubborn with everyone except your dad. Your dad tells you one of those terrible dad jokes. The one that is impossible to _not_ groan at. Which includes everyone in earshot.

* * *

Why did you ever think these caravan’s were exciting? It’s just a day trip to one of the nearby towns, staying the night, then going back the next day. Honestly, You would rather be back with your grandparents inventorying the stock than sitting on the back of a wagon on a bumpy road.

Kristen has gotten all gooey for some guy at the town you’re heading towards, and the guy hasn’t even given her the time of day. The guy smells bad, and really doesn’t deserve your sister.

At least you got that growth spurt that put you about even with the rest of your siblings.

Which means you can really tower with everyone else to intimidate the little turd if he ever notices Kristen’s lovey dovey eyeballing.

You give up trying to read with a gusty sigh. You draw the curtain to the side to get an idea of where you are, and to figure out how much longer until you reach Phandalin.

Ugh. A few more hours. At least.

And then a _motherfucking **fireball** _ comes out of nowhere, and burns everything to the ground in a second. You manage to avoid most of the damage by ducking further into the wagon, and escaping the wreckage before you are burned alive.

Your family is not as lucky.

You spot the charred remains of your father nearby after you kick your way out from under a burning crate. A little further away is Kristen- or you think that's her. She had been wearing a black cloak today, right? Oh God. The smell-

You bend to your stomach's demands, and there's nothing sturdy enough within reach to steady you when you lean too far forward. At least you managed to avoid falling into the puddle you just created. You hurt and you ache, but you get up anyways.

Because there’s screaming, and you run as well as you can towards the source. But it tapers off before you can get close enough, and you’re stuck limping around shouting for your family until you go hoarse.

You still are trying to call for them when some scavenging humans trap you in a cage. They’re talking about what a good haul you are, and you’re just numb. You can’t even find the energy to grab a the bars. You don’t even have the desire to stand.

So you just sit there in the cage. You barely realize there’s a fight going on outside the cage until it is over, and the door is opening.

You step out after staring at the human with the strange sideburns for a moment of incomprehension.

You watch as the human joins some others on a wagon, and charge away. The same way, you realize, the fireball went. Towards Phandalin.

The scavenging humans’ wagon is just a little ways away. You’re still numb, and it’s almost rote, the mechanical way you settle into the wagon, and urge the horses to go. Go. Go. Have to get to Phandalin in time or the inn will give your family’s reservation to someone else. Or else the stores will be closed and everyone will be set back in the morning, unloading for hours and then a whole day of traveling back on a bumpy road.

Then feeling starts to come back, and you realize that no, there’s nothing left to sell to the stores in Phandalin.

There’s no family left to fill the reservation.

There’s just you. On a wagon.

Going to Phandalin.

And there’s a crossbow as big as you are behind the bench with a quiver of arrows bouncing along with every bump on the road.

So, Kurtze, _what do you do_?


End file.
